i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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