He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So many bounce houses so little time
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
