it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
