OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
