She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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