If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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