Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
