I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
