I think my fart just growled at me.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Randomize
