She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
