Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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