Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
