Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize