Grow some girl-balls and come out already
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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