He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Be still, my beating vagina.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
