Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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