The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
