I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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