What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
