Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
