I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Drunk is not a location!
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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