I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
