And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
