what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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