dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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