dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
