what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
don't judge my taste in strippers
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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