Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
