who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Farmville is her only friend.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
