Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
