Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
