I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
