I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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