hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He did a backflip because drugs
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