my soul wont recognize me after tonight
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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