Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
