In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
