Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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