Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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