I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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