My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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