Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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