She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
