Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
