yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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