I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
