i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize