My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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