There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize