New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
i out mim tonsoeep
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