yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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