As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
God, you're like boner-b-gone
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
