weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
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