I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
even my farts smell like vagina
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
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