I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
