just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
