quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
In other news, I just burned my penis
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
