I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
