Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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