what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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