You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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