Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
