I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
