no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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