You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
