Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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