Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
