why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
