He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize