We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
