some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
