drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
