i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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