You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I did not marry a roomba.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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