I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
