Apparently you make a good broom.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
