sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
